My wife had a cancer and was dying soon. I was in so much pain that I needed something to forget it. That's how I got into alcohol. I started drinking day and night without any hesitation, thinking it would help me escape the reality. But later I felt more pain when drunk. All the time I was drinking and crying. Most often my mind was speeding up of thoughts about my wife and her disease. Everybody told me that I had to stop cause I was going crazy and depressed.
Now, after I am here for treatment, I am feeling alive again. I want to Iive because that's what what my wife want me to do. I can't save her but I can save myself.