In this course someone said me that drug use takes away all your problems and helps you face others very easily. This false belief made me start smoking cigarette to overcome my low self-esteem. Later some of my friends who used to smoke marijuana said that smoking it would give higher pleasure and we would start seeing the world in different way. Soon, I was smoking marijuana to get relaxed and forget the tension caused by not being able to attain my dreams. I was in false belief that by smoking marijuana, I was being able to attain everything that I could not when I was not smoking anything. The effect of marijuana had started making me numb. But, I still kept on using it. Rather, I had increased tolerance for the drugs. However, my parents were totally unaware about my drug using habit.
Soon my desire of using other drugs escalated as I started seeking more and more pleasure. Besides when I saw other guys using drugs, I started getting tempted to use as well. Out of such temptation, I started using powerful drugs like heroin and amphetamines. The addiction was winning my life and it affected the quality of my understanding and taking decision. As my tolerance for the drugs had increased and I needed more drugs to get the same high that I got from little quantity earlier, I had been facing financial difficulty to maintain this habit. In the early days, I asked money from my parents making false excuses of buying certain things or going for tuition. But, when I had all the sources used of getting money, I was in deep financial trouble to meet my addictive habit. Acting upon my financial woes, I even threatened my family of dying if they did not give me money. My behaviors were becoming cheaper and I had failed morally as I even tried to attack them on not getting the money. One day, I broke the cupboard in the house and stole money from it. That day, I had bought plenty of drugs and was using it all day long. I did not appear home on time. By the time I was going home it was late in the night. On the way, I was questioned by police and when they checked me, they found some drugs with me. I was arrested for drug possession and taken to police station. Next day, my mom came to the station and released me. Immediately, she put me in a rehabilitation centre.
Though I was kept in the rehabilitation centre, I thought that I did not deserve to be there. I was of the feeling that I knew everything about drugs and could leave it anytime I wanted. However, none of my attempt to get out of the centre worked and I had to stay there for a period of three months. In that centre, I did not learn anything about the techniques of refraining from drugs rather just passed my time there for the sake of my family. After being discharged from the centre, I remained in abstinence for two weeks. But one day, I met a counselor of the centre I stayed in. To my surprise he offered me to take drugs. I could not say “no” as I was being offered by a person who had actually counseled me to refrain from drugs. I though, I will take only once as I can control my feelings of using drugs. But, it was my illusion as I again started using drugs regularly. I had relapsed and this time my drug use had become worst. I started seeking more and more high and in pursuit of it, I started taking drugs through injection. Once I used injection, I just got addicted to it.
Once again my life had become worst due to my excessive use of drugs. My relationship within the family started being destructive again for the obvious reason-demand of more and more money and my violent activity on not getting it. Meanwhile, I was being irregular in the college and my study was also completely affected due to my drug using habit. One day, when my mom refused to give me money, I broke the cupboard and stole money from it again. In this way, I was into the same path as I was before going to the centre, probably worst than earlier. Seeing, such degrading attitude of mine, my parents decided to put me into the centre again. After much discussion among my parents and my relatives, they admitted me in Transformation Nepal Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation Centre.
In this way I was in the rehabilitation centre for the second time to overcome my addiction. In the beginning I was worried thinking all the things in my life would stop. Initially I was not normal due to the withdrawal symptoms, but as I started taking the Vitamins and Minerals provided by Santosh sir, I felt quite relieved. Then the counseling of Santosh sir helped me to ease my wary feelings about my future. Once when I was put in the academic class, the course offered here to change myself a lot. As I started studying different books, I began looking at things more positively. I started analyzing my past behaviors and the losses I had made due to my using habit. Then only, I was serious about my recovery. I took commitment that this time I will make it through no matter what the cost is.
By now I have already completed my six-month academic course here and have been bestowed upon a responsibility within the centre. Presently, I am the security in-charge of the organization. This post has developed a greater sense of responsibility within me. This post has taught me the importance and the techniques of protecting things under you. I believe that I can remain sober in my life if I imply this learning in my practical life after I get discharged from the centre. By now, I am focusing on my future goal and I am preparing for different classes that are pre-requisite for going abroad for studies. Finally, I want to express my gratitude to the centre and Santosh sir for lending the supportive hand to guide me in my path to recovery.